


Sleeping Alone

by heytheregisela



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Mavin, RageHappy, but mentions of blood, not too graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:04:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heytheregisela/pseuds/heytheregisela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's no secret how much Michael and Gavin mean to each other. Though their relationship is far from perfect, they wouldn't change a thing about it. But not everything has a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeping Alone

**Author's Note:**

> In an attempt to get out of this horrid curse called "writer's block", I wrote the first thing I felt inspired to write, and it's this. It didn't turn out exactly how I originally planned, but I still liked it.  
> Title from: "[Sleeping Alone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU1RERV7m8Y)" by Lykke Li.

_The plan had been to take a quick trip to the market down the street._

 

Gavin had a tendency of planting kisses along the back of Michael's neck as an attempt to wake him up in the morning, especially after he officially moved in. Michael would always groan and try lazily pushing him away, but the smile that would form would persuade Gavin to keep doing it.

“Gavin, fuck off,” Michael mumbled as he attempted to bury his face in his pillow, because pushing Gavin away had proven useless – as always.

“I think it's time that you get up,” Gavin told him.

“This is like the only day I get to sleep in.”

“So?” Gavin grinned as he continued his trail of his kisses near Michael's ear.

Michael squirmed underneath him a bit until they both froze at the sound of growling. Gavin didn't even want to move a muscle, but then Michael was laughing, and uncontrollably too.

“Don't laugh at me,” Gavin said as he rolled off of Michael and onto his back.

Michael lifted his head to look at his boyfriend, still trying to contain his laughter, and although Gavin wanted to look annoyed, he couldn't help but smile at Michael's laughing face.

“Is that why you wanted me to wake up?” Michael asked as he found himself calming down, “So I can feed your skinny ass?”

“I was going to get up and get my own food, but...” Gavin trailed off as he sighed in defeat.

Michael turned over so he could face Gavin and he had to hold it together so he wouldn't laugh again when he heard Gavin's stomach let out another small growl.

“But you would rather eat something warm and homemade, right?”

Gavin pouted as he nodded and Michael grinned as he leaned in.

“Hm, Gav, what would you do without me?” Michael's voice was soft yet playful that Gavin wasn't sure if he should play along or be completely serious with his answer. The smirk he saw daring to appear on Michael's face was what influenced his answer the most, though.

“I think the real question is... what would _you_ do without _me_?”

Now Michael was laughing again, but he was also shaking his head and getting out of bed. Gavin merely watched at first with a small smile on his face. Michael took a deep breath and stopped himself from laughing before facing Gavin and holding out his hand.

“Come on, Gav, let's go eat.”

 

_Usually one of them would go alone, but that particular night, they decided to go together to properly pick out exactly what they felt like getting._

 

On Friday nights after work, most of the Achievement Hunters would go out for drinks. Ray was excluded that night due to wanting to stream, and Ryan didn't join because he had a long drive home and just wanted some sleep, but the others were there. Michael purposely didn't drink since he would need to drive Gavin and himself home, so while he watched Gavin slowly get drunker and drunker, he sat aside and sipped on Coca-Cola while munching on french fries.

The thing with Gavin and alcohol, though, is that the more Gavin drank, the more confident he would get. That alcohol-influenced confidence was enough to make Gavin walk over to where Michael sat at their table and ask the last thing Michael ever expected.

“Do you want to dance, love?”

Michael grinned lopsidedly at him, “Shut the fuck up, Gavin, and sit down. I think you've had enough to drink for tonight,” he reached to grab the beer bottle from Gavin's hand, but Gavin pulled away.

“I want to dance, Michael,” he slurred out as he pointed at him with his free hand, “a-and I... wanna dance... with _you._ ”

Being intoxicated always made that British accent even more evident than it already was, and Michael knew he couldn't resist it. Still overly amused with this whole thing, Michael let out a loud and exaggerated sigh before standing up and grabbing Gavin's hand to drag him onto the dance floor. As they walked away from the table, Geoff was making his way back to it, and as they passed each other, Gavin handed Geoff his beer bottle.

“What am I supposed to do with this, asshole?” Geoff asked him as loudly as he could to be heard over the music, but Gavin just shrugged and tried keeping his balance with Michael's tugs.

Michael had to do the leading, because Gavin could hardly stand still. For most of it, it was like dancing with a child who didn't even want to dance; the only difference was, Gavin _did_ want to dance... he just couldn't. Despite that, Michael didn't stop holding onto Gavin as they stumbled around the crowd of wild, drunk dancers, because that was their version of dancing, and Michael wouldn't dare change a thing about it.

The same way he wouldn't change how Gavin curled up on the bed after returning home from the bar and would be fast asleep within the time it took Michael to get ready to join him. He wouldn't change the mornings after and how Gavin would wake with a throbbing head and a need to rush to the bathroom, because Michael did like taking care of Gavin. Therefore, on those mornings, there would be a glass of water on the counter next to the toilet, just waiting for Gavin to drink after he was done letting out his sickness.

Michael knew how much Gavin loved to drink water when he was hungover.

 

_They got what they needed, and probably more than actually necessary, and headed out with bags filled with so much that they were almost too heavy to carry._

 

The controller was thrown across the room and Gavin was trying his best not to laugh anymore, though he couldn't help it when he noticed just how angry Michael was.

“Shut the fuck up!” Michael practically spat at him.“This isn't fucking funny, you idiot!”

“Michael, this was your fault; you didn't fire it soon enough,” Gavin innocently reminded him, referring to the way his character had died in the game they were currently playing.

“No! You didn't give me the signal! I said give me the signal!”

Gavin gasped and stopped laughing as he stared at Michael with furrowed eyebrows, “I did give you the signal, you knob! Did you not hear me?!”

“You mean those stupid squeals?! _Those_ were you signal?!”

Gavin nodded furiously and Michael growled before tackling him off of the couch and onto the floor. Gavin placed his hands on Michael's shoulders and tried rolling him over to switch their positions, but before his attempt, Michael grabbed his hands and pinned them over his head. Gavin widened his eyes as he looked up at Michael, because now he wasn't sure what to do.

“Why are you so angry about it? It's not like you were playing well-” He was cut off right there by Michael roughly pressing his lips against his own. Gavin wasn't even about to fight against that. He simply threaded his fingers through Michael's curls and smiled as he returned the same amount of need into that kiss.

 

_The plan had been to take a quick trip to the market, and a quick trip it had been, but part of the plan was for both of them to return home that night._

 

Michael could never tire of the way he and Gavin stole glances at each other during work. Sometimes it was during recordings, and even though it would only make Michael flustered and quiet for a certain amount of time, he never complained and told Gavin to stop. He didn't want Gavin to stop. Perhaps sometimes he did want to slap the smugness out of his boyfriend's face, but that didn't mean he wanted him to stop.

Gavin had his ways of making Michael feel every single emotion; from embarrassed to flattered, to nervous and angry, to relaxed and giddy, Michael felt it all with just a simple glance or touch from him.

And Michael found it pretty pathetic of himself to be like this with Gavin of all people, but then again, that was probably the best thing about it – how liking _Gavin_ had caught him off guard; someone he thought he would need months getting used to when first introduced to. Somehow it only took a few weeks of hanging out together outside of work with Lindsay and Barbara for Michael to feel like there was a real possibility of a nice friendship there for him and Gavin.

Michael wasn't even sure how it happened, but he and Gavin completely managed to skip over being mere good friends and going right into becoming the best of friends that were practically inseparable. It was no secret how close they were to anyone, either. Everyone knew if they wanted to find one of them, they would most likely find them together. And even though their friends poked fun at them, saying how they needed to stop playing games and admit their _feelings_ for each other, they would laugh along, because they didn't get what they meant anyway.

If Michael could have pictured himself with anyone, it wouldn't have been with Gavin, and his friends explaining how obvious it was that they were perfect for each other wasn't helping. Nothing helped with him realizing what he already knew deep inside. But then Gavin kissed him at the Christmas eve party Geoff and Griffon threw one year. It was a slow, but lasting kiss that left Gavin laughing nervously afterwards, and Michael was just speechless with a burning face. Gavin had pointed up and said it was a rule to kiss the person you were under the mistletoe with, and even though Michael eventually laughed as well and agreed, they both know that wasn't the reason Gavin kissed him.

That was how Michael couldn't picture himself _without_ Gavin anymore.

Sometimes things worked out for the better.

And it was why he liked those stolen glances, because it reminded him of the times they would steal those glances back when they had been just _friends._ How foolish they were back then to not really know why they did that to each other.

So despite the way it sometimes made him break concentration, Michael never wanted Gavin to stop. He would hate to look over and have Gavin not look back at him.

 

_And not everything always goes as planned._

 

Gavin wasn't one to do well with words, especially for comfort, but he did have a way with actions, and the night he abruptly woke up to sound of soft cries coming from the living room proved that to be right. Michael wasn't lying in bed with him, which only increased his worry, and he hurried out of the bedroom and into the living room to find exactly what he hadn't wanted to.

It was hard to see, but Gavin could at least tell that Michael was sitting on the couch in the darkness, his knees up to his chin and a blanket wrapped around him. Gavin had to blink several times to get his vision to adjust, but once it was good enough, he started making his way towards his boyfriend, although not before tripping over a pair of shoes he had left there earlier (maybe he should have listened to Michael when Michael told him to clean up his shit). He fell over and made a huge thud that made Michael jump up in fear, but it didn't take long for Michael to figure out what had just occurred.

“Gavin, you fuck,” it was clear Michael wanted to sound annoyed, but it came out quite the opposite. He sounded defeated and tired, and Gavin couldn't ignore the ache that formed in his chest from hearing it.

Gavin quickly got to his feet and rushed to Michael's side, and Michael stepped away, but Gavin grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into an embrace. That was all it took for Michael to break down and sob into Gavin's shoulder. Gavin held him tightly as he nuzzled into his hair and gently massaged his back. Michael gasped for air through his cries, silently waiting and dreading Gavin to ask him what was wrong. But when the question was never asked and the comforting gestures increased, Michael found that his cries had stopped and he was now merely sniffling and breathing in shaky breathes, and no more tears fell that night.

He squeezed Gavin with the same amount of force Gavin had with holding him and he smiled as Gavin placed a small kiss on the side of his head.

Admittedly, Gavin was more than curious about why Michael had been up so late, crying his eyes out, but he decided against asking for various reasons. If Michael wanted to talk about it, he would, and if he didn't, well, then it was none of his business. He did think that Michael would eventually tell him, though, but the answer to the unspoken question was never revealed.

 

_As soon as the gun was raised and aimed directly at one of them, the grocery bags that were previously almost too heavy were now weighing a ton, so they were dropped, but the weapon was not._

 

“You're pissing me the fuck off, Gavin,” Michael growled as he got up from his seat in the break room at work.

Gavin rolled his eyes and slammed his sandwich down on his plate.

“Why? I didn't even do anything this time!” He defended himself.

“You didn't even have to!”

“Oh, that's not fair.”

Michael curled his fingers into tight fists and started heading his way out of there, but Gavin was on his feet and over to him before he could. This wasn't their first fight, and Michael knew it wouldn't be their last, but this was the first fight that really did happen over nothing. The two had just been having lunch together when Gavin's constant laughter started to get on his nerves. There was nothing even going on around them to laugh about, but whatever the hell Gavin was thinking about so much was apparently hilarious, and that was irritating Michael for some reason. He genuinely liked Gavin's laugh, and while Gavin had been laughing, Michael wanted to smile, until a few other thoughts came to mind – certain thoughts he'd been trying to let go of for a while now. They just wouldn't leave him alone, though, and they weren't anything to be angry about, but they did scare him, and he didn't know how else to react to that fear.

“Just leave me alone, okay?” He asked Gavin, his voice much less angry than before. He turned to leave, but Gavin grabbed his hand, and Michael held his breath.

“No, I'm not going to leave you alone!” Gavin shouted at him.

Michael looked at him over his shoulder, though he didn't say a word, because Gavin kept talking.

“Are you getting tired of me?”

Michael's eyebrows twitched together, “W-what?”

“Is this your way of trying to...” Gavin licked his lips and took a deep breath, “to... break up with me?”

“W-why would you say that?”

“Why would you get angry with me for no logically good reason?”

Michael averted his eyes and shrugged, “I'm not angry with you.”

Gavin scoffed and let go of his hands, “You just said I was pissing you the fuck off!”

“I didn't mean it like that-”

“Then what _did_ you mean?!”

Michael flinched a little at the harsh tone in Gavin's voice, but he knew this was the moment those thoughts were going to win and he was going to have to face his fears. He swallowed the lump in his throats and turned around to meet Gavin's eyes again.

“Gav, I... I know we've been together for almost seven months now, and I know we've been living together for three, but I... I feel like this is always how I felt, but I just never said it to you...”

Gavin raised an eyebrow and was going to wait for Michael to go on, but it seemed Michael wanted him to say something first, so he did.

“What are you bloody talking about?”

Michael groaned and threw his hands up, “I love you, okay?! Are you happy? There! I fucking said it!” And seeing how unreadable the look on Gavin's face was made him regret saying it at all, because that was just what he was afraid of. He opened his mouth to... to what? Take it back? He couldn't take that back, but he wasn't sure what to say now.

The corners of Gavin's lips rose slowly and Michael never thought he could feel so relieved to see that smile.

“You had me worried there for a second,” Gavin said before grabbing Michael's hand again and pulling him in closer.

“Shut up,” was all Michael could manage to say in the moment, and the words had come out a bit quiet too.

Gavin shook his head as he looked from Michael's eyes to his lips, “I love you, too, Michael.”

 

_There was no sign that this stranger was going to leave them be, especially when they started to get closer, and then there was shouting – pleading and arguing coming from all three of them. But the stranger must have grown tired of it, for they didn't even ask what they wanted of the couple. Instead, the trigger was pulled and another yell was heard along with it._

 

The shot glasses were raised and Gavin grinned before doing the same.

“Happy birthday, Gavin!” Barbara cheered, followed by their friends as the little glasses clinked together.

Michael was standing next to Gavin and he gently nudged him as everyone began to indulge in conversation with each other. Gavin set his glass down and smiled at him.

“So, on a scale to... fucking... one to ten, how much did you like your party?” Michael asked.

“Ten being the best?”

“Yes.”

“Eleven.”

Michael rolled his eyes and Gavin laughed. It was now the end of that party and their friends were merely having their last drinks before the went on their way, with their designated drivers, of course. Michael told Gavin to enjoy the last few minutes while he cleaned up, but Gavin stayed in his place as he watched his boyfriend pick up the trash that was lying around on the floor. He didn't care if it was his birthday and that Michael wanted him to enjoy every second of it, because he didn't want Michael to be stuck with all the cleaning.

So he took out a large garbage bag and made his way over to where Michael was in the living room. Michael jumped a bit when he turned around to find Gavin there, holding up the bag that was ready for him to toss the wrappers into.

“Seriously, Gav? Go fucking have fun with everyone else,” Michael told him as he tried taking the bag from Gavin.

“It's not like I'm not going to see them tomorrow, Michael.”

Michael wanted to argue, but then again, it was nice to have help cleaning up, so he smiled and started dropping the trash into the bag. Gavin sighed in relief and went on to follow Michael around the room.

“Guess that's our cue to leave then, right?” Kerry asked.

“Yep,” Michael answered, smirking at him, “Get the hell out.”

Lindsay pouted, but then she smiled over at Gavin, “Happy birthday again, Gav,” before heading towards the door.

On his way out as well, Ray patted Gavin on the back, “See you tomorrow, man.”

“Bye Ray!” Gavin said cheerfully, and then proceeded to say his goodbyes to everyone else who had come. He stood there with Michael and watched as their apartment became emptier and quieter until it was just the two of them.

Michael grinned, “That's more like it.” He continued on with cleaning around and Gavin happily assisted.

“Thanks for a great day, Michael.”

“No problem, Gav.”

“But can I ask for one more thing?”

Michael paused from bending down and turned around to face Gavin instead.

“Sure.”

Gavin tilted his head as he looked over Michael's face before lifting his hands and grabbing it. Michael couldn't help but smile at him, and Gavin returned the smile as he leaned in and closed the distance between their lips.

 

_And then everything went completely silent._

 

It was like a wound that just wouldn't heal. Two months had now passed, but the reality of it was still just as painful – if possible, probably more, or at least that's how it felt. Gavin would no longer have the tendency of planting kisses as a wake up motive, he would never get drunk enough to have the confidence to want to dance, and he couldn't try to be of any help in passing a level in a game anymore with his “signals”.

There would no longer be any stolen glances, or arguments that started either over nothing or actually something, or no more first _I love you_ 's, and definitely no more birthdays that would end with cleaning up messes and sweet kisses, because Gavin didn't have anyone he would want to do any of that with anymore.

It didn't matter how many times they told him it would get easier, and that someone else would come along, because Gavin just didn't care about any of that. He didn't want _someone else_ ; he wanted the love of his life, but Michael had been taken from him right in front of his eyes.

Sometimes what hurt the most was that Gavin knew it was supposed to be him. The stranger with a gun had been aiming at him, but the second the angry shouts had stopped and the trigger was pulled, Gavin felt himself being aside, and when he looked back, he saw Michael standing where he had been and the stranger taking off in the other direction. For a moment, though, Gavin thought everything was fine, but a trail of blood making its way down from Michael's chest and staining through the fabric of his shirt told otherwise.

Gavin couldn't move – he felt stuck in his position as he stared at Michael with wide eyes, but he could hear his heart pounding. Michael lifted a hand and slowly placed it over the wound, though he felt fragile and breathing was becoming too painful. Seeing how he was slowly getting down on his knees broke Gavin out of his trance and ran over to catch Michael before Michael could fully hit the ground.

“Michael,” he spoke, not even caring how choked and shaky the name had come out of him. He started running his hand down the side of Michael's face and pursed his lips, because he had never had such an urge to cry than he did right then and there.

Michael grabbed Gavin's hand, and Gavin nearly broke down when he felt how weak the hold was.

“I-I'm scared,” Michael whispered, sounding so desperate for air, and Gavin squeezed his hand because he knew he needed to be brave for the both of them.

And since words failed to properly form, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Michael's forehead. He wanted to tell Michael, somehow, that everything was going to be okay, because he really did believe it himself, but as he pulled away to attempt to say those exact words, he found it was too late.

There were sirens in the distance from police cars and an ambulance making their way towards the scene after a bystander had called in the accident, but Gavin hadn't even heard a thing as he screamed out for Michael to come back to him. He hardly remembered what happened next, but he knew he was dragged away from his boyfriend's lifeless body and that he was questioned about the whole thing, but all he could see was Michael, and all he could hear was the firing of the gun, playing itself over and over in his mind. There had been a drive to the hospital and Geoff had arrived at one point to take him home with him, but most of the details were a complete blur.

Gavin doesn't even recall sleeping that night. Perhaps he just lied in the guest bed of the Ramsey house and stared at the wall until morning, but he wasn't sure.

The funeral had happened a week after and Gavin had gone up to speak, though he only said a few things before he started stumbling over his words and Lindsay went up and helped him walk back to his seat. Shortly after the funeral, he moved out of the apartment, because he couldn't bare being there when the image of a once beautiful smile with freckles and dimples was forever scarred with that of pure panic; it was the last look Michael gave him when he failed to take one more breath.

And that was definitely what hurt most of all.

 


End file.
